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He now proceeded to wash himself, and there shortly appeared a light ginger tom, and you could see why he was called Mrmalade. No one ever wrote to Proctor and Gamble to tell them how effective their washing powder was on cats.There was always a problem with the geese, the goat and the dog, which would follow you down the road if you went out, and to cap it all there were chickens. Father, when asked what he did for a living on one occasion said 'Poultry Advisor'. When we asked what he meant he told us he could advise anyone not to keep them. In those days you could inject a pill into the male birds to turn them into 'capons' basically I think a sort of chemical neutering, and we did quite few of these, by the hundred actually. Whether this chemical had any effect on the humans who consumed them I have no idea, but I do have three children, who have qualified me to become a 'Parent Advisor'. I'm sure you can work out what that entails!And then there was the vicar, a genuine self. "I've heard about him," she continued, "he's incredible apparently, got the gift of healing hands." Healing hands?" I said."Come on lets go and meet him," she said grabbing my elbow and dragging me across the room."Hi," she said, "I'm Jan and this is my room mate Wendy and she had this headache that just won't quit." Hi," he said his voice low and would have been sexy if I had been in the mood. "Do you want me to do something about it?" Yes please," said Jan before I could say no."Perhaps we should go somewhere quieter," he offered.One of the last things I wanted to do right now was to be alone with this guy, but again Jan spoke for me."That would be great," she said.I suppose he wasn't a bad looking guy if I thought about it."Come through here," he said and he led the way into a back room.I didn't really notice at the time but his two buddies came alone too."Now sit here and lets see about that head of yours," he said.I sat down on a kitchen chair and he stood behind me. His hands.
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